


why you write songs about people

by sprinklednana



Series: heaven is a place on earth with you [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bands, Alternate Universe - High School, Cuddling & Snuggling, Fluff, Kissing, Light Angst, M/M, Past Relationship(s), Sexual Content, Smut, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, ex lovers au, marknorenhyuck in a band bc i can
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-06 23:43:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,163
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20515463
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sprinklednana/pseuds/sprinklednana
Summary: Everyone screams even louder, but it’s still a blur, as the vocalist sings the first lines of the song.Because at that moment, Jeno looks out into the crowd and meets his eyes.or where almost five years after their break up, Jaemin goes to a band concert where his ex boyfriend is the lead guitarist.





	why you write songs about people

**Author's Note:**

> BLAME THE FUCKING EX-BOYFRIEND VIDEO EDITS ON TWITTER I AM BROKEN BEYOND REPAIR
> 
> Anyway, this fic was inspired by the jaemin edit by @jaemvlogs on twitter, and the jeno edits by @markmiin and @donutjeno on twitter. 
> 
> The cute band names were from twitter (Thank you so much for replying with your cute ideas ily all sm):  
Disband - wongsrenjun  
Wet Socks - jen4jaem (electrolyte)  
Dirty Laundry - taeyongseo  
That Band - foryukjaem  
Watemelons - niconeo3 (nico_neo)
> 
> Read the tags and I hope you enjoy!!!! **Please don't be confused, the italicized parts are flashbacks!!!**
> 
> Special thanks as well to nominom gc bc inspired ako sa page-emote nating lahat.

_ So beautiful_, is the first thing Jaemin thinks when the concert began and all the band members stumbled into the stage. 

All handsome and suited up in a variety of branded black clothing and ripped jeans. 

_ So beautiful_, he thinks, even when the crowd screams so loud and the glare of lights hurt his eyes. 

Jisung chants the band members’ names right next to his ear as Chenle haphazardly tugs at his arm out of excitement. 

_ So beautiful_, he thinks, as the world seems to slow down when a dark haired boy, _no_, not anymore, _man_, strums his guitar a few times to test it. _so familiar yet so different. _

It’s a blur when Hyuck, or Lee Haechan, as he likes to be called now, the vocalist of the band, leans towards the mic with a big smile, “How’s everybody’s night going?” 

Haechan laughs as the crowd screams, and it’s still a blur because Jaemin can’t keep his eyes off the dark haired man and he can’t help but let out a heavy breath as he sees him smile slightly at the vocalist’s antics. 

“I am Haechan and I’ll be singing for you tonight,” 

“We have Mark on the bass guitar,” the oldest member raises his hand and waves at the crowd as they cheer at the top of their lungs for him. Still with that cheekbone thing he does when he smiles, and Jaemin's heart almost melts.

He missed all of them.

“Renjun on the drums,” Jaemin barely hears as the crowd chants_ Injun! Injun! Injun! _when the pretty boy tosses a stick up in the air and hits the drums once as it lands. Beautiful as always, and still with that same easy confidence.

“and Jeno on the guitar!” It’s unbelievable how the crowd goes even wilder when Jeno merely looks out at them and smiles. The way his eyes form crescents was a punch to Jaemin’s gut, and its even more unbelievable how familiar it still feels. 

“We are Disband,” Mark speaks for the first time that evening and Jaemin lets out a little laugh as the name touches a memory inside of him, “and the first song is everyone’s favorite.” 

The band starts gradually playing the intro of the song as Mark yells out to their fans, “A song Jeno and I wrote for our first album, just four years ago, when we were nothing but a pair of skinny and broke heartbroken pricks.” 

Jaemin’s breath hitches as Jeno grips the mic stand with one hand and tilts it towards his face, “The title of our first song is _Someday._” 

Renjun leans towards his own mic, smirking and teasing their fans, “This one’s for all of you, ‘cause I know y’all are just a bunch of emo bitches,” before hitting his sticks together up in the air, the crowd chanting with him. “_Three. Two. One._” 

Everyone screams even louder and Jaemin hears the people in his back, _honest to God, wailing_. 

But it’s still a blur, as Haechan sings the first lines of the song. 

Because Jeno looks out into the crowd and meets his eyes. 

_ “Hi… I usually don’t do this,” The dark haired boy rubs the back of his neck almost shyly, and the younger can’t help but smile at him, “but I- I saw you in the crowd when we were playing, I- my friends and I, we were the opening band earlier at the- I’m not sure if you remember- you probably don’t—” _

_ “I do,” Jaemin cuts him off with a small smile, “remember. _Disband _right? I thought you guys were great. And we use to share a few classes _ _ together,__ sophomore year I think?__ Was it Biology? _ _ ” _

_ And everyone knows who you are, Jaemin tries not to say. Lee Jeno who was handsome and athletic and __mysterious and intelligent. _ _ Lee Jeno who was the guitarist of the band nobody __can seem to stop talking __about lately. __Lee Jeno who was perfect. Not a single person in their high school didn’t know who the beautiful boy was. _

_ The elder’s eyes widen almost comically, “You remember that? _ _ I mean- yes. Philosophy and Trig too.__ And you did? Like it, I mean- You do?” He lets out a shaky breath, __“Sorry, I’m rambling.” _

_ Jaemin giggles, “It’s fine. I’m Jaemin.” _

_ “I know,” The older __unconsciously plays __with the bracelets on his wrist and the younger can’t help but smile fondly at what must be a habit of his, “I’m Jeno.” _

_ The younger smiles at him teasingly, “I know… did you want something?” _

_ “I just—” Jeno smiles and the younger’s heart stutters as the elder’s eyes form into crescents, and _no wonder half their high school is in love with him, _Jaemin thinks, “I just thought you were cute. __Earlier. Actually, for quite some time now. __And my friends saw you watching us and they threatened to beat my ass if I didn’t finally _shoot my shot_.” _

_ Jaemin laughs brightly and Jeno thinks, _no wonder you write songs about people. 

_ “__Mark Lee was my chem lab partner and _ _ I find it hard to believe that __he __can beat anyone’s ass. Most certainly not yours.” _ _ Not because he wasn’t strong enough, Jaemin has seen him working out with the soccer team without a shirt on, _no definitely not._ But because Mark was a really sweet lawful good type of guy. _

_ “_He _probably can’t. But Injun and Hyuck _ can _ and they _ will_.” _

_ Jaemin glances at the people in the school’s gym. Everyone pretending to do their own thing, not-so-secretly eavesdropping in their conversation. _

_ He turns back to the __elder. _Let them watch. 

_ “And how will you do it, Mr. Guitarist? How will you shoot your shot?” Jaemin teases. _

_ “I’d take you out on a date this Saturday,” Jeno smiles, so genuinely that the other can’t help but return one too, “if you’d let me.” _

_ “I would,” Jaemin answers, just because Jeno asked nicely, and “Let you,” just because he’s been thinking Jeno was cute for quite some time too. _

_ Jeno insisted o__n walking him to his house that night, just because he’s that type of person. The younger doesn’t know why the other students placed this cold, hard, cool, and intimidating image on him when Jeno was nothing but soft and gentle and dorky and shy and kind. _

_ The younger swings their held hands back and forth, fingers intertwined. “__This is me.” _

_ Jeno squints at the three__storey house in front of them, pouting, “Already?” _

_ The younger chuckles, facing the other while he holds his hand in between them.“You could come in, you know. My parents aren’t around, but my older brother is visiting from college.” _

_ Jeno balks at the offer, and balks even more at the thought of meeting Na Johnny or Na Jaehyun. __He can’t imagine meeting e__ither of the two__, famous for many things including being overprotective older brothers, __ending up well for him. _

_ The younger just laughs knowingly when Jeno mutt__ers, “Maybe next time.” _

_ “Okay then. Thank you, Jeno. For today. I really enjoyed playing in the park and going to the movies and watching you gulf down food in Jennies’ diner.” The honey haired boy giggles before frowning playfully, “I wish you let me pay though.” _

_ Jeno just smiles, pressing three of his fingertips to the younger’s forehead, physically erasing his frown. “Maybe next time.” _

_ The pink haired boy raises his eyebrows teasingly, “Shooting your shot?” _

_ “Only if you’d let me.” _

_ “My basket is always open for you.” Jeno lets out an unattractive snort at that but the other still looks at him with sparkles in his eyes anyway. _

_ “Good night, Jaemin.” _

_ “Good night, Jeno.” _

_ The elder already turned around, jogging away from the other’s driveway, a big big big smile on his face, when the younger yells out to him, “Jeno, wait!” _

_ The elder halts to a stop, turning back around just to see the younger closing the distance between them. _

_ He doesn’t have time to ask what the younger needs because in a matter of seconds, Jaemin has grabbed him by his collar and pulled him down to a bruising kiss. He barely had time to close his eyes because the younger has already pulled back, running inside his house like his ass was on fire. _

_ "Text me when you get home, Jeno Lee!” _

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ i’m home. Thx for today :) _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ I’m glad you got home safe. See you on monday! <3 <3 <3 _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ why are you still awake? _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ Couldn’t sleep :/ too jumpy :( _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ was it bc of the…. ? _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ DON’T SAY IT !!!! IT MAKES ME SHY !!!!! _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ cute _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ Stop doing that or I really won’t be able to sleep :( _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ *audio attached* _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ FUCK _ **

** _ WAS THAT U _ **

** _ OH MY GOD _ **

** _ I TOLD YOU I WONT BE ABLE TO SLEEP _ **

** _ YOUR VOICE IS SO PRETTY _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ sorry. stop being cute then :( i thought it would help you sleep _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ Your singing makes my heart beat fast :/ _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ what can I do to help then? _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ Will uuuuu….. _ **

** _ Say yes if I ask you to call me? _ **

** _ Your talking voice is really soothing :( _ **

** _ From: Nana <3 _ **

** _ Thanks for calling, I can’t believe it’s already 2 in the morning :( sorry :( I didn’t realize we were talking for three hours already _ **

** _ From: cutest guitarist :3 _ **

** _ no need to be sorry. i like talking to you. _ **

** _ go to sleep, baby _ **

** _ good night _ **

_ Jaemin smiles as he feels strong arms wrap around his waist __and a bare chest press against his back__, “Good morning, my love.” _

_ “Good morning, baby.” The elder mutters against his skin, scattering butterfly kisses on the back of his neck. Jeno begins to sway them to beat of the Beatles song playing on the radio. “mmmm.. smells good.” _

_ Jaemin giggles, from Jeno’s words and from the tickle of his lips, “Me or the bacon?” _

_ He can feel the older smirk against his neck. “The bacon, mostly. But you too.” _

_ The pink haired boy dramatically sighs, “I __wake up early to__ cook for you and this is what I get.” _

_ “Thank you,” Jeno says sincerely, slowly turning the younger’s body so they can face each other. He gives the younger’s lips one quick kiss. Then another. Then another. Then another. Before the younger laughs and playfully hits his shoulder. So he gives him one last, long, and lingering kiss. “I wish I could wake up to you every morning.” _

_ They were snuggled against each other, Jaemin almost on top of the elder, his head resting __on the elder’s chest. Feet tangled together, arms wrapped around each other, surrounded by soft pillows, and their shirts thrown somewhere in the room. _

_ They were talking about everything and nothing at all. _

_ Jaemin traces imaginary circles on the elder’s bare skin.__ “When did you start anyway? The band I mean.” _

_ “Hyuck and I go_ way _way back, we started liking music together and wanted to start a band together since we were like _ten_.” The elder smiles down at him as he runs his fingers through the younger’s pink hair. __“Then Injun transferred in the middle of freshman year and __he and Hyuck hit it off, and Mark and I became friends because of basketball—I don’t even remember anymore how it happened exactly.” _

_ He chuckles as if recalling a memory, “One day, we were all awkwardly hanging out for the first time together, the next we were about to wage a war against each other over what our band name should be.” _

_ Jaemin laughs, “Who won?” _

_ “Mark. He wanted our name to either be Disband or Watermelons. I wanted our name to be That Band. Injun was ready to break our arms just for our name to be Dirty Laundry, and Hyuck didn’t talk to us for days after we refused to call our band Wet Socks.” _

_ The younger snorts, “How did Mark win?” _

_ “Sheer luck. We rock paper scissored it out. Mark’s luck is shit every day of the week, but it just seemed to work for him that exact day." _

_ "Why Disband?" _

_ "I thought Watermelons was cute but like hell Hyuck was gonna let our name be Watermelons. __Maybe it really was our destiny to be Disband.” _

_ The pink haired boy smiles softly at his lover, “You believe in destiny, Jen?” _

_ The elder kisses his temple once. “I do now.” _

_ One of their best nights consists of two breathless and uncontrollably laughing boys, all of the lights turned off in the band’s apartment at 11 in the evening, no source of light but the opened refrigerator, and __Lana Del Rey’s Video Game __blasting through Mark’s old speakers. _

**_Swinging in the backyard_**   
**_Pull up in your fast car whistling my name_**

**_Open up a beer_**   
**_And you say get over here and play a video game_**

**_I'm in his favorite sun dress_**   
**_Watching me get undressed take that body downtown_**

**_I say you the _****_bestest_**   
**_Lean in for a big kiss put his favorite perfume on_**

** _ Go play your video game _ **

_ The younger__was too into the music, putting his hands up in the air and exageratingly swinging__. Jeno’s heart feels like it was a second away from bursting. _

_The younger had to __raise his voice__ for __his lover __to hear him, bouncing on __the balls of __his feet, “__I feel like I’m flying__!” _

_ The older boy just laughs at him, __Nana’s _ _ movements were overdramatic __and uncaring but his smile was soft, his eyes gentle. _

_ Jeno couldn’t help but keep the disgustingly _ _ fond smile on his face, before __a __teasing expressions formed in the younger’s face. _

_ With a single move, the younger pulls his lover closer to him,__ locking his wrists behind the elder’s head. _

**_It's you, it's you, it's all for you_**   
**_Everything I do_**   
**_I tell you all the time_**   
**_Heaven is a place on earth with you_**   
**_Tell me all the things you want to do_**   
**_I heard that you like the bad _****_girls_****_ honey, is that true?_**   
**_It's better than I ever even knew_**   
**_They say that the world was built for two_**   
**_Only worth living if somebody is loving you_**   
**_Baby now you do_**

_ Jaemin pulls him closer and mouths __the lyrics of the son__g, just a breath away from the elder’s lips__. _

_ Jeno __cherishes moments like this __the most, with his Nana. __Where they were just __Jeno and Jaemin. When the world stops and the stars hold their breath. _

_ The elder presses one light kiss to the younger’s lips, letting his hands slide from Jaemi__n’s arms to his lower back. _

**_Singing in the old bars_**   
**_Swinging with the old stars_**   
**_Living for the fame_**

**_Kissing in the blue dark_**   
**_Playing _****_pool_****_ and wild darts_**   
**_Video games_**

_ “How long do we have before they all get back?” Jaemin whispers, __burying his face in the side of the other’s neck. _

_ “Injun and Hyuck are out on a date__. Mark’s preparing for an interview __for uni. We’ve got forever.” _

_ Jaemin smiles, “Do we?” _

_ The younger could feel his muscles relaxing and his thoughts leaving his mind one by one. There was so much to say and nothing to say all in the same time. _

_ He could mention the stars and the skies and the galaxies and the entire universe and wax poetic about Jeno and his beautiful face and his beautiful __heart. But the words didn’t come. _

_ At that moment. Everything else ceased to exist. _

_ Jaemin __was just __a boy__ that loved __Lee Jeno. _

_At that moment, the stars and the skies and the galaxies and the entire universe di__dn’t _ _ matter__. All that mattered was that a boy named Jeno loved him back. _

**_He holds me in his big arms_**   
**_Drunk and I am seeing stars_**   
**_This is all I think of_**

**_Watching all our friends fall_**   
**_In and out of Old Paul's_**   
**_This is my idea of fun_**   
**_Playing _****_video_****_ games_**

_ “It already feels like forever with you.” _

**_It's you, it's you, it's all for you_**   
**_Everything I do_**   
**_I tell you all the time_**   
**_Heaven is a place on earth with you_**   
**_Tell me all the things you want to do_**   
**_I heard that you like the bad _****_girls_****_ honey, is that true?_**   
**_It's better than I ever even knew_**   
**_They say that the world was built for two_**   
**_Only worth living if somebody is loving you_**   
**_Baby now you do (Now you do)_**

_ Jeno traces different __shapes and letters and numbers on Jaemin’s back. He kisses the younger’s temple. Then his __eyebrows. His forehead. His hair. His nose. Each of his cheeks. The corner of his lips. His chin. His mouth. Over and over. _

_ Jaemin is Jeno’s second in a forever and his forever in a second. _

** **

**_It's you, it's you, it's all for you_**   
**_Everything I do_**   
**_I tell you all the time_**   
**_Heaven is a place on earth with you_**   
**_Tell me all the things you want to do_**   
**_I heard that you like the bad _****_girls_****_ honey, is that true?_**

_ The elder__ takes one of Jaemin’s hand and _ _ gently pulls away__. He raises their held hands and urges the younger to spin around, a soft smile on his face. _

**_It's better than I ever even knew_**   
**_They say that the world was built for two_**   
**_Only worth living if somebody is loving you_**   
**_Baby now you do (Now you do)_**

_ Jaemin was in__ Je__no’s old huge ratty shirt__ and borrowed shorts from Renjun. __The last time he took a shower was last night, __pink hair a mess and smelling too much of Jeno’s pillows. _

_ The radio’s sounds __aches a little to the ear and there __were no fancy lights__, but __Jeno thinks that __the faint light coming from the refrigerator hitting the __side of Jaemin’s face should be the eighth wonder of the world and the person who will disagree will be given an unforgiving beating. _

** _ Now you do (Now you do) _ **

** _ From: _ ** ** _ love of my life <3 _ **

** _ i just got home, I miss you already _ **

** _ tell your brothers I said thanks again for having me over _ **

** _ From: _ ** ** _ Baby _ **

** _ I miss you more _ **

** _ COME BACK _ **

** _ You know you can sleep over even when johnny and jaehyun are here _ **

** _ They’re literally both in love with you _ **

** _ From: love of my life <3 _ **

** _ i _ ** ** _ love them too and It’s been months but they still scare me shitless _ **

** _ From: Baby _ **

** _ They won’t hurt you _ **

** _ As long as you keep your hands to yourself _ **

** _ From: love of my life <3 _ **

** _ that’s it, baby _ **

** _ i can’t keep my hands to myself _ **

** _ not when it comes to u _ **

_ One memory neither of them can ever __seem to forget __happened on a rainy evening, somewhere during the first few weeks of senior year. __The younger’s back was pressed against the elder’s warm chest, __hands interlocked in front of Jaemin’s stomach__, legs tangled. Nights like this, they had no beginnings and no ends. Just something in betweens. _

_ They’ve been laying on their sides for hours and hours, sleeping for a few minutes before finding themselves awake again. _

_ “Nana.” The elder whispers against his hair before pressing __a kiss at the base of his spine, pressing his hand against the __younger’s stomach to pull him even closer. _

_ “Babe?” The __pi__nk haired boy whispers back, voice raspy from sleep. _

_ “Can I keep you?” _

_ The younger __closes his eyes and tightens his grip on the__ other’s hand. __“For as long as you want.” _

_ “Sing for me,” Jaemin demands, as he lays on the floor of his own bedroom__, watching Jeno strumming a familiar song on his guitar as he sits on the foot of the younger’s bed. _

_ The older boy smirks, strumming the first few notes of Plain White T'__s' Hey There Delilah, singing, _

_ “__Hey there, _my Nana 

_ What's it like in New York city? _

_ I'm a thousand miles away _

_ But, _boy_, tonight you look so pretty _

_ Yes, you do _

_ Times Square can't shine as bright as you _

_ I swear, it's true__.” _

_ When Jeno looks up from his guitar, just to see Jaemin looking like he’s just made __the most groundshaking discovery __and looking like was about to shit himself all at once, the teasing smirk immediately drops from his face. “What is it, babe?” _

_ When Jaemin speaks, it is barely above a whisper. But it is the loudest and clearest thing the elder has ever heard. _

_ “I’m in love with you, Lee Jeno.” _

_ Beautiful, Jeno thinks. When they’re inside Jaemin’s room, no one else inside the house. _

_ Beautiful, Jeno thinks. When the younger is laying down on his stomach beneath him, __one side of his face pressed against the pillows, a little pretty frown on his face. _

_ “Tell me if it hurts too much, baby__. I’ll stop.” The elder whispers lowly__, breath tickling the _ _ back of the __other’s neck as he leaves a trail of openmouthed kisses on the span of the younger’s shoulders. His spine. His neck. _

_ “I— It’s okay. A__h— I trust you with me.__” The younger breathes out, __moaning at the unfamiliar intrusion. “I just— I need a moment.” _

_ The elder tries to soothe him as best as he can, “Take as long as you want, baby__,” running his fingers through the other’s hair, _ _ rubbing slow circles on his sides. _

_ “Can I— I wanna see you.” _

_ “Okay,” Jeno answers, __slowly __pulling out from the younger for a second, causing his breath to hitch. _

_ Slowly, he maneuvers the younger to lay on his back, “I’m going in again, okay? __Just tell me to stop and I will.” _

_ “Please, Jen.” Jaemin breathes heavily, “I want it. I want you. Please.” _

_ The pink tinting his cheeks, his breathlessness, the way sweat glistens on his skin, __the small noises he can’t help but let out. It all sent heat straight to Jeno’s groin. _

_ With every bit of gentleness __Jeno possesses, he slowly enters the younger__. “Ahhhh,” _ _ Jaemin can do nothing but moan loudly and screw his eyes shut, wrapping his legs around the elder. _

_ He doesn’t remember how long it took, how many spaces of his skin Jeno has kissed, how l__ong__ they shared a deep, passionate kiss, to help the younger be distracted from __the pain. _

_ All Jaemin remembers was how good it felt when he finally said, “Y-you can move now.” _

_ And Jeno does, kissing every single part of Jaemin’s bo__dy. _

_ When the younger digs his nails on Jeno’s back, he __groans, “Fuck. You have no idea how hard it is to hold back. Fuck. God. Look at you.” _

_ Jaemin asks him not to. And he doesn’t. _

_ Jeno thrusts deep inside him__, and they were loud as they can be. _

_ “Faster. Harder. Baby, please. _More.” Jaemin says. And Jeno listens. 

_ It feels like a dre__am. _

_ Time stopped__. The world didn’t exist. It was just Jeno. Just Jaemin. _

_ When Jeno hits a part inside of him__ nobody’s ever hit before, he groans so loudly, he was terrified the neighbours could hear, “There. Don’t stop, baby. Please, don’t stop.” _

_ “I won’t.” Jeno leans __down and presses his forehead against the younger’s. “God. You’re so beautiful. You’re so beautiful. __Fuck.” _

_ The younger could do nothing but moan in response, lifting his hips up to meet the elder’s thrusts. __He cups Jeno’s fac__e__ with his shaking hands. “I love you. So much.” _

_ Jeno kisses him. Deeper and more desperate than he ever has. __“I love you so much more, baby.” _

_ When Jaemin finishes between them, Jeno follows not too long after. The way the younger tightens around him making his hips stutter. _

_ He continues to move languidly inside, riding it out. _

_ “I love you,” was the last thing Jaemin remembe__rs _ _ that night as he succumbs to exhaustion and sleep. _

_ Jaemin doesn’t have to be awake to know that Jeno will take care of him. _

_ “I love you too.” Jeno whispers back, kissing the younger’s cheek. _

_ He doesn’t hear it__. But __he doesn’t have to__, to know, anyway. _

** _ From: love of my life <3 _ **

** _ good luck on your entrance exams, babe!!! _ **

** _ I know you can do it _ **

** _ I love you _ **

** _ Practice is running late _ **

** _ Tell me when you get home _ **

** _ From: Baby _ **

** _ I’m sorry I couldn’t come to your gig tonight baby :/ _ **

** _ I _ ** ** _ have to prepare for the uni interview tomorrow _ **

** _ Text me when you get home _ **

** _ I love you more than anything _ **

** _ From: Baby _ **

** _ I’m so sorry I forgot to text _ ** ** _ you back _ **

** _ I was just so tired from doing that stupid physics paper last night _ **

** _ I’m sorry for worrying you _ **

** _ From: love of my life _ ** ** _ <3 _ **

** _ Will you answer my texts? _ **

** _ I told you she’s no one _ **

** _ They were just teasing _ **

** _ Please answer my calls _ **

** _ Please _ **

** _ I love you more than anything _ **

** _ From: _ ** ** _ Baby _ **

** _ Look i’m sorry I took the test without telling you _ **

** _ I’m sorry you had to find out from others _ **

** _ I didn’t think it was a big deal _ **

** _ From: love of my life <3 _ **

** _ i love you _ **

** _ always _ **

** _ you know that right? _ **

** _ From: Baby _ **

** _ I do _ **

** _ I love you more than anything _ **

_ “Are you just waiting on me to be the one to break up with you?” _

_ The look on the elder’s face was cold and hard and the time it takes for Jaemin to answer breaks both of their hearts. _

_ “No.” The younger breathes out. But they both know he was lying. _

_ “Why does it feel like your building a future without me?” The elder asks, and _ _ the shake in Jeno’s voice is a punch to his gut. “You didn’t even tell me about those entrance exams you took. You don’t tell me about your plans anymore.” _

_ A single tear drops from Jaemin’s eye. “Isn’t that what we’re both doing?” __Jaemin slowly wipes at his cheek, “You _ _ t__hink I don’t hear you talking the guys about signing with an agency? Why didn’t you tell me about it, Jen?” _

_ Every second of silence inside Jeno’s car was a crack to both of their hearts. _

_ Jeno could feel the younger shaking and he refuses to look at him crying because he can’t. He knows how tonight will end and he refuses for this to be his last memory of the younger. _

_ “What happens to us now?” __Jeno asks, silent tears streaming down his face, knuckles tight on the steering wheel. _

_ The question hangs in the ai__r. Unanswered. _ _ What for, anyway? The truth is already staring them in the face and they had no choice but to stare back. _

_ “I love you,” __The elder says, barely above a whisper, “always. Please know that.” _

_ Jaemin turns to him, smiling, _ _ snot and all. “I do. I do too. More than anything.” _ _ He reaches out to __touch the older’s hand. “You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.” _

God, _for once they both wish that love was enough._

_But it wasn't. _

_They were both young and they both needed to grow still. And the future they were both trying to build didn't include each other. At least, not yet._

_ Jeno __exhales so heavily, he fears that his heart will come out of his mouth. _

_ He gathers all the bravery he can to meet the younger’s eyes. __“Why do you have to make this harder than it already is?” _

_ And they both laugh and cry at the same time, and Jaemin cups the elder’s cheek and asks one last thing of him, “Can I— Can I kiss you? Just __one last kiss.” _

_ Beautiful, Jeno thinks. Even when the pink haired boy is breaking his heart. _

_ “Can I close my eyes when you do?” Jeno sniffs, and in a small voice he continues, “I don’t wanna see you go.” _

_ Jaemin chuckles lowly and he wants nothing more than to take that sound and store it in a jar. For his to keep. “Close your eyes then.” _

_ Jeno listens because when does he ever not, when it comes to the younger. _

_ He feels the younger’s forehead press against this. Feels his hot breath __all over his face. Feels him mouth “I love you,” against his lips. _

_ Feels it to his very core when the the younger presses their lips together in one last, deep, and lingering kiss. _

_ Feels __the burn that tears his insides apart when the kiss leaves. When the hands leave his face. When __he hears the car door opening and closing. When the boy leaves. When the boy doesn’t come back. _

_ When he opens his eyes, he doesn’t turn __his eyes to look at the younger’s driveway one last time. _

_ He turns the car on and locks the door. _

_ He drives away __and doesn’t look back. _

** _ [UNSENT] _ **

** _ To: Nana _ **

** _ I h_****_eard you’re going to that university you always wanted to go to _ **

** _ I’m so proud of you _ **

** _ I hope you’re happy _ **

** _ [UNSENT _ ** ** _ ] _ **

** _ To: Jen _ **

** _ I heard _****_your album sold millions _ **

** _ I’m so proud of you _ **

** _ I list_****_ened to every song _ **

** _ I hope you’re happy _ **

** _ [UNSENT] _ **

** _ To: Nana _ **

** _ Ran into one of our old schoolmates yesterday _ **

** _ Told me you graduated already _ **

** _ I’m so happy for you _ **

** _ [UNSENT] _ **

** _ To: Jen _ **

** _ Saw _****_one of your tour posters in the mall earlier _ **

** _ I told _****_you all your dreams were gonna come true _ **

** _ I’m so incredibly happy for you _ **

Jaemin wishes at least one person in the audience managed to capture the look on Jeno’s face when their eyes meet. He wishes they upload it on every social media platform so he could easily find it. So he could remember the look on Jeno’s face. If it's the only thing he can keep, then he'll keep it forever.

_ Jeno looks him straight in the eye, smiling that soft smile he always does__. They were all alone in the band’s apartment. __Jeno sitting on the kitchen counter, playing his guitar__, and singing __a song he’s currently writing. _

_ “I’ll wait for you forever,” Jeno sings, tilting his head, “does that sound okay?__ Not too cheesy?” _

_ “It sounds okay.” Jaemin grins at him, “I’ll wait for you forever,” he sings back to the older, __then continues to hum the song Jeno has been playing all morning. _

_ He continues to hum, even when Jeno stops playing. _

_ Continues to hum__, even when the older __pulls him closer by his hips, pressing a soft kiss to his lips. _

_ Jeno gradually drops the fond smile on his face, the longer he stares at the younger. _

_ Jaemin _ _frowns slightly, “Is there something wrong, love?" _

_ The elder kisses him deeply. __When he pulls away, he says, “I’m in love with you.” _

_ So intense and so sincere. “Be mine.” _

_ Jaemin smiles. So wide and so bright, every single part of him ached. __“I was already yours. For quite some time now.” _

When Jeno holds his gaze, he smiles. soft and small. 

A few seconds pass. 

The world stops and the stars hold their breath. At that moment, he was just Jaemin and he was just Jeno. 

Jeno smiles back. 

**Author's Note:**

> Alsoooo... I'm thinking a bit about making this a series and posting a prequel or sequel? hmmm tell me your ideas/request in the comments. Ask me questions as well, something might spark something in me dfbfvs
> 
> You can also yell at me in my [cc](https://curiouscat.me/sprinklednana) or [twt](https://twitter.com/sprinklednana?lang=en) if you want!
> 
> I am soft and sensitive and in need of constant reassurance so please leave me kudos and comments and ccs i will really appreciate it! :( <3


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